dutch language: i want to learn to speak dutch well enough to carry on a conversation in various situations. it is very important to me that i learn the dutch language because, from my perspective, the language is one of the most important aspects of a culture. if you can understand how individuals of a culture interact (listen to what they talk about and how they present those subjects of interest), then you can better understand the "dutch stamina/backbone".
approach: study dutch words, grammar, etc and put it to practice every chance that i get. get involved, socialize with the other students. show interest in the individual. practice formulating dutch sentences while speaking on msn or to my family. practice practice practice. immerse and converse.
God: i want to become closer to God. i want to know Him for who He is and to gain a more accurate understanding of His true nature.
aaproach: God created the world and as the creator He inevitable is inscribed into the world. it is the work of His hands. i once learned, "a text out of context is a pretext for trouble"... taking God out of His creation leads onto to innacturate convictions of who God is. God isn't just in America. God is everywhere. to experience God and to understand God, i feel it is important to view Him from a new perspective, from another God-made environment. if I want to learn something and know it full-well (which is humanly impossible, but one can get seemingly close), i must study it from all angles and in all lights and darks, and in all contexts. how i see things are different from how others see things and how other see things can help shape the way i see things. its a network of connections and respects for the "very Him" of God... (note: C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed). needless to say, God cannot be contained, defined, explained, understood, etc but God can be "seen". He can be witnessed. my pre-determined concept/idea of God can be modified by my experiences here in a prison of self-development and discovery.
relationships: because i am a part of others as they are a part of me and because God is found in every human being, i am particularly interested in developing relationships with people here in the Netherlands. i want to experience family, friends, and myself. each and every person is unique; handcrafted by God and provided with a freedom to be as they so desire. each and every person can be identified as a walking masterpiece, a process novel. their stories, their experiences, their values and convictions, their perspectives, their initiatives, their relationships, their social compatability, etc every living being has something to give. every living being is a receptor of chance, change, challenge... life. every living being. of course, i cannot meet every living being, but i can; however, take chances in making a connection with someone--if only to speak once and never meet again, i have that to take with me. i value most my relationships, my connections, my integrations and i want to broaden them to as far as they may possibly go.
approach: people watching, socializing, putting myself out there and being open to their interests. expect nothing so that when something happens, it can be open to discernment and free of bias. get out there and take some risks, get messy! make mistakes! reflect on them in order to avoid making the same mistake twice.
(maybe that's why my uncle called me a mule/sheep. i tend to have to make mistakes more than once before i learn from them.)
lifestyle: i want to experience dutch living.
approach: hang out with dutch students. live in a dutch family. make observations and reflect on what i notice. (differences between American lifestyle/family living and Dutch lifestyle/family living.)
THESE WILL BE A CHALLENGE. I WILL NOT LEARN OVERNIGHT. PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE. I MUST PRACTICE MY VIRTUES SIMULTANEOUSLY!

a little something to laugh at:
accounts of the week...
dinsdag--
--woke up to go to the GH and tell the class i decided to quit drinking
--went to mediamarkt and set off the alarms b/c i didnt know how to get out
--almost got ran over by a bunch of young drivers who cussed at me for biking in front of them
--got to UCU for my interview and the man who conducted the interview forgot so there was a line up of prospective students
--got to the train station and the train to zwolle was down
--got lost 5 times trying to get back home from the station at night
donderdag--
--i burned a boiled egg, the water evaporated and the egg sat burning on the bottom of the pan
im really good at this dutch living thing

ik ben vol. my head is full, my heart is full, my stomach, full... i'm FULL. i don't know what i am doing, and i don't care.
i'm going with the flow and listenin to my music, doing a little research here and there. i've been accepted to roosevelt academy... but i don't know if i want to go there.

i miss myself a little, so i'm going to reflect on who i am for a moment:

name: kak
height: 5'6''
weight: 134lbs
shoe size: 9.5
eye color: blue-grey
nationality: united states, michigan
status: single, but not interested
academic interest: art, writing
religion: Christian

FAVORITES:
food(s): indonesian and italian
beverage(s): peach tea smoothie and chai tea (latte)
season: autumn
time of day: night
number(s): 19 and 3
letter(s): j and g
color(s): cobalt yellow, indian yellow, yellow ochre, green earth, and egyptian blue
music genre: classics -- eagles, bob dylan, billy joel, jim croce, jimi hendrix, etc
wear: tennis shoes, old jeans, hoodies -or- sexy, yet sophisticated eveningwear
pass time: music, dancing, movies, driving/off-roading, sitting on the roof, writing, etc
games: mae jong, tetris, hide'n'seek, puzzles--crossword, sudoku
summer activities: pier diving, roof hopping, pulling pranks, driving, taking walks, etc
LEAST FAVORITES:
food(s): foreign candy--sometimes
beverage(s): fruity alcoholic beverages and clear sodas
season: winter, but its beautiful in Michigan
time of day: morning
number(s): even
letter(s): x and o, unless together xoxo
color(s): six basic colors and pink
music: pop and rap
wear: fashionable clothes
pass time: boredom
games: life and monopoly

hmmm... i think i'm getting to know myself a little more.

IF I could do whatever I wanted to do, what would I do:
1) live on the streets
2) make art
3) get out of here, experience LIFE... you know. I really don't know why I keep doing what's expected of me. If I really want to do these things, what's holding me back? Family, friends? I keep holding myself back because I am afraid. Afraid of what? Not having enough money... society thinking I am nothing for wanting to live on the streets? Why am I not doing what I REALLY want to do?
Well, I guess because once I start something, I don't just give up and go... So, when I finish this program... I can get up and go? I have a couple weeks after the program here in the Netherlands. I can live on the Netherlands streets and PAINT.
Maybe I will do that. Maybe I will walk to Groningen. You know how cool that would be? Damn it... remind me to walk to Groningen. I'm so going to live on the streets in the Netherlands once I finish this program. I'm stubborn as hell AND I WILL do that.
4) meet people, learn about people, learn about God